alayna on her debut album ‘Self Portrait Of A Woman Unravelling’
With over 57 million streams across her entire discography on Spotify alone, Rotorua-born alayna has released her beautifully intimate and emotionally raw debut album. Weaving between folk and singer-songwriter to R&B and pop influenced songs, this exploration of the self illuminates alayna’s spell-bounding voice and truly assures you that after creating her own lane as an artist, she has arrived.
Hey Alayna, thanks so much for taking the time to chat to us! First of all, a huge congratulations on your debut album ‘Self Portrait Of A Woman Unravelling’. How do you think you've evolved as an artist since your last project in 2020, the ‘Tender’ EP?
I love Hype Medium! Thank you, and thank you for supporting me for so long. ‘Tender’ was such an honest release, and while I felt quite exposed from it, I also felt pretty empowered to go further forward into this space of vulnerability. Most of my previous music I'd released explored my relationships with others, but with this album I wanted to write about the relationship with myself. So as an artist, I think overall I became a bit braver, both creatively and personally, to be able to confront myself and try to sit with my own company and understand who I am underneath all the layers of what I wanted to be or what I thought people wanted from me. It's the most honest work I've done, and I think who I am as an artist becomes a bit clearer every time I dare to go a bit deeper.
Deciding to do an album is a huge undertaking, and I can imagine there can be an immense amount of pressure when it's your first one. Was there a significant moment you had that helped you decide that you were ready to do the album? How did you start this process and what was the overall writing and production journey like?
It's been my dream to create an album since I began writing music, and I always knew what my debut album would be about; this concept of wanting to ‘know oneself' as it's something I'd never really been sure of. In 2020 when I released my EP, and the world had kind of stopped as we knew it, I realised there was nowhere else to go except to sit with myself and finally try to answer the question of ‘who am I?’. I entered into the process as curious and free as I could, without any preconceived ideas of what I wanted it to sound like. I just wanted to be able to eventually find what sounded like 'me'. I knew the only way to do that was to let the music lead the way and trust my heart on what felt the best to what I needed to hear.
I began by sitting at the piano in my parents home which was where I was staying, and slowly came up with ideas. I also started writing again with my longtime collaborator Noema Te Hau. One of the first songs we wrote together for this new chapter was 'The Ground' which ended up on the album. I remember being really excited about that song because I had no idea what it sounded like, it just said what I needed to say. And so that intention became my north star for creating the album; have I articulated how I feel correctly?
Over the course of nearly three years, the songs came together in all sorts of ways. I had a lot of great sessions with producers and the days I'd get the right song I felt like I'd struck gold. I had so many different ideas but the core songs you hear on the final tracklist are what stood true to me all the way through. I have a newfound admiration for those who create albums, because it was such a challenging journey. You really test the limits of your perseverance, as it can often feel like wall after wall of self doubt. I went through a lot personally during the writing too, so I feel like it chronicled my journey through the last few years of my life.
What were your main artistic influences going into this album?
I made a real point to not zone in on anything in particular, partly because I was trying my best to block out everything else and try to listen to whatever my gut was saying. I didn't listen to a lot of music during that time either, not a particular conscious choice, I was just spending a lot of time in the quiet. If I do have any particular influences, it was more the type of feeling I was trying to capture. I wanted to feel like I feel when I listen to M83 ‘My Tears Are Becoming A Sea’, or Coldplay's ‘Yellow’, or Joni Mitchell's ‘Both Sides Now’.
‘If You Want My Love’ is one of our absolute favourites - can you tell us a little bit about the concept of this track and what inspired you to write it?
This is another one that was written quite early on in the process with Noema. It went through a few different iterations musically, but the message was about simply wanting to love and be loved in return. I thought maybe that's just the point of it all anyway - I don't have to overthink everything. It felt like quite an important breath of fresh air for the album, because in a lot of the songs I'm talking about some heavy personal things or just analysing my place in all of it, so it was an important reminder for myself, to remember to come up for air and to lean into and nurture the relationships around me.
The stunning song ‘Art Or Ego’ is a question that we're positive that most artists contemplate when writing music. The lyrics ‘does the world need another voice? Isn't there already too much noise?’ really moved us - we think that although there are so many voices, every artist has their own unique way of creating art to connect with others (so yes, we need your voice Alayna!). What are your current thoughts around this?
I wrote ‘Art Or Ego’ when I was in a very stuck place creatively on the album journey. It was one of the many times I wondered if all of this is worth it. Any other creative will know the familiar self-doubt that seems to be the loudest voice in the room. I guess I just wanted to personify that voice and give it its moment instead of trying to ignore it. I still go to that place often - of wondering whether my 'noise' is adding anything important to the big pool of noise out there, or if I'm good enough. But I'm now realising that it's a very normal part of the process. I truly believe there's a place for everyone and their art. I guess this song is me holding hands with my self-doubt, and letting it be whatever it wants to be, and hoping it will eventually extend me the same grace.
We've fallen in love with so many tracks on this album, but one that seems particularly special to us is "A World Without You". We were so privileged to see you perform live and you mentioned this was written about your brother. Can you tell us about what this song means to you?
This song is so special to me. I think it represents a really pivotal moment in my life, as well as in my journey as an artist. I had pieces of this song but was never sure I'd be able to write it because it felt too scary to put into words. The song is a huge testament to the producer Devin Abrams, who, in our first session together, created a space that felt safe enough for me to share something so personal to me. There's something sacred about the songwriting room and that day was one of those days. I was able to access the molten core of myself, the searing 'feeling' that I thought I wasn't capable of touching. The song was mine for so long, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to release it, let alone ever sing it again, but for the two years it sat with me, it helped me feel a real powerful love, and opened a new window for me to know what I was capable of making and feeling. I understood that it was important to release because I think it could be there for someone else who needs it, too.
You've collaborated with some incredible kiwi talent for this album including Noema Te Hau, Devin Abrams, Josh Naley (Wells*) and Joel Jones. What were your main highlights working across the album?
I've been so lucky to work with all of these amazing producers who helped me piece together the album so beautifully. I think the highlights are laced throughout the journey; all the small 'Ah-hah!' moments when I realised I'd found a song that was right for the album, hearing Nick Dow record the piano for 'A World Without You' at Roundhead, the day I wrote 'Arrived' when my hands were shaking a bit once the lyrics started coming, getting the first mix of 'Cherry Tree' back from Simon Gooding, all the hours spent chatting and laughing with Noema in the studio, a call with my A&R Tara who knew all the words to my album better than me, and also when I played the full album to my parents and they danced around the lounge together. Everyone who was a part of this project treated me and the music with so much care and respect, and I'm so grateful for it. I feel that love when I listen to it.
What are some of the biggest lessons you’ve learnt in your career so far, and what advice do you have for other artists out there?
Patience, patience, patience. It's easy to just want to get 'somewhere' where you'll finally 'be happy and satisfied'. I think our artist journey is just one long car ride and we can either choose to enjoy the view and every pit stop along the way, or just sit there impatiently driving ourselves crazy wanting to get to the destination (which honestly, I'm not entirely sure exists). It's our choice on how we move toward that place anyway. And just keep circling back to yourself. What are your values? How do you want to move and treat others on this journey? I think it's so important.
Lastly, we end every interview with this question - if you could say one thing to every person in the world, what would it be?
Do your best to listen to what your heart is saying. Sometimes it's hard to hear it underneath all of the noise. Keep digging until you find it.
Thanks so much Alayna! Make sure you keep up with alayna on Instagram, Facebook, Spotify or Apple Music.
